The Best Modern Wedding Vows and How to Write Them

When it comes to saying “I do,” modern wedding vows are where it’s at. They’re straight from the heart, speaking to what love and commitment mean today. As a videographer, I get a front-row seat to these genuine moments when couples exchange vows that are as unique and lively as their relationships.

Getting ready to tie the knot? This article will cover everything you need to know about modern wedding vows. You’ll find answers to frequently asked questions, tips, and a ready-to-go outline to get you started. I also have the perfect video examples of contemporary vows I’ve captured from real couples to help get you inspired.

Updated 22 November 2024

What makes contemporary vows different from traditional ones?

Today’s wedding vows have evolved significantly from their traditional roots. Contemporary wedding vows embrace authenticity, inclusivity, and personal expression while moving away from conventional religious or gender-specific language.

Key Differences:

• More personal storytelling and specific promises
• Gender-neutral language options
• The blending of humor and sincerity
• Focus on partnership and equality
• Inclusion of modern-day commitments (like managing screen time or supporting career goals)

Traditional Vows: “To have and to hold, from this day forward…”

Contemporary Version: “I promise to support your dreams, be your biggest fan, and always make sure we have coffee in the house…”

While traditional vows focus on formal, time-tested language, contemporary vows allow couples to express their commitment in ways that reflect their unique relationship and values. They can include promises about real-life situations, inside jokes, and specific aspects of your shared future.

Pro Tip: The best contemporary vows maintain the sincerity and weight of traditional vows while adding your personal touch. Think of them as your love story meets your promise for the future.

Venue: The Acre Boomerang Farm

How to Write Modern Wedding Vows

Writing modern wedding vows doesn’t have to be overwhelming. Whether you’re planning an intimate backyard ceremony or a grand celebration, these expert-approved steps will help you create personal, meaningful vows that perfectly capture your love story.

Start your vow-writing journey at least 1-2 months before the wedding. This gives you plenty of time to revise and practice. Most couples aim for vows that last 1-2 minutes when spoken (approximately 200-250 words).

Here’s your step-by-step guide:

1. Open with a loving declaration
   • “From the moment we met at that tiny coffee shop…”
   • “You changed my world when…”
2. Share your story
   • Include a specific memory that defines your relationship
   • Mention what made you fall in love
3. Make 4-5 specific promises
   • Be your biggest supporter and loudest cheerleader
   • Choose you every day, not just today
   • Create adventures together
   • Listen to your work stories, even when the acronyms confuse me
4. Close with a strong commitment
   • Keep it simple and powerful
   • Speak from your heart

Pro tip: Record voice notes when inspiration strikes, and keep a running list of memories and promises on your phone. Read your vows aloud while writing – this helps ensure they sound natural when you deliver them.

Remember to avoid common pitfalls like writing them the night before, making them too long, or focusing solely on humor. Your vows don’t need to be perfect – they need to be perfectly you.

Need inspiration? Save this list of modern promises to spark your creativity:

• “I promise to always make your coffee just how you like it”
• “I vow to be the first to say I’m sorry after our disagreements”
• “I promise to support your dreams, even when they seem impossible”
• “I vow to keep our love story exciting and never stop dating you”

What is a modern wedding vow script?

A modern wedding vow script breaks free from rigid traditional formats while maintaining a clear, meaningful structure. Think of it as your love story meets your promises, written in your authentic voice – like a heartfelt letter meets a meaningful promise.

Here’s what a modern vow script typically includes:

Introduction (2-3 sentences): “Sarah, from our first coffee date where you ordered an extra shot just to keep up with my energy, to our weekend hikes where you pretend not to be tired, you’ve always shown up for us. That’s when I knew you were my person.”

Your Journey (2-3 sentences): “Since then, you’ve been my partner in everything – from midnight taco runs to helping me chase my dreams of opening my own business. You’ve shown me what a real partnership looks like.”

Your Promises (4-5 specific vows): “Today, I promise:

• To always be your biggest fan, especially during your karaoke performances
• To support your dreams, even the wild ones
• To make you laugh, especially on hard days
• To choose you and choose us, every single day”

Your Vision (1-2 sentences): “I look forward to collecting passport stamps with you, building traditions that are uniquely ours, and turning our shared dreams into wonderful realities.”

Closing Statement (1 powerful sentence): “You are the anchor to my adventurous spirit and the laughter in my everyday moments – this is my eternal promise to you.”

Pro Tip: Keep your total script to about 250 words or less – that’s roughly 1-2 minutes when spoken. Remember, these aren’t just words on paper; they’re promises you’ll remember for a lifetime.

Related Article: Creative Ways to Turn Your Wedding Vows into Beautiful Keepsakes

Modern Wedding Vows Template & Structure

Gone are the days of strictly traditional “to have and to hold” language. Today’s couples want vows that feel authentic and personal. Here’s a contemporary wedding vow template you can adapt to create heartfelt promises that truly represent your relationship:

“[Partner’s name], [Opening statement about your love/when you knew they were the one]

You’ve [personal reflection on how they’ve changed your life/what you’ve learned together]. When I think about our story, I remember [specific memory that captures your relationship].

Today, I promise:

• [Serious commitment to support/growth]
• [Practical promise about daily life]
• [Emotional vow about your future]
• [Lighthearted promise that makes them smile]
• [Deep promise about your love]

I look forward to [future vision – what you want to build together]. With you, I know we’ll [shared dream or goal].

[Closing statement of commitment]”

💡 Pro Tip: Aim for 200-250 words total. Your vows should take 1-2 minutes to recite.

Example Using the Modern Wedding Vows Template:

You’ve shown me that love isn’t just about the big moments – it’s about dancing in the kitchen on Tuesday nights and supporting each other through every challenge. When I think about our story, I remember how you brought me soup for a week straight when I had the flu, even though you had to drive across town in rush hour.

“Alex, From our first karaoke night, when you sang a terrible rendition of ‘Don’t Stop Believin” just to make me laugh, I knew you were different.

Today, I promise:

• To be your biggest supporter, especially when you doubt yourself
• To make your coffee first thing every morning, just how you like it
• To choose you and choose us, every single day
• Never judge your questionable music choices (except for that one country album)
• To love you more with each passing year

I look forward to building our home together, adopting too many pets, and creating a life filled with laughter. With you, I know we’ll face every adventure with courage and humor.

You are my best friend, my home, and my greatest adventure. This is my solemn vow.”

Want to personalize this template? Focus on your unique experiences, inside jokes, and the small moments that make your relationship special. The best modern vows balance sincerity with personality – they should sound like you, not a greeting card.

Need Extra Help? Professional Services to Craft Your Wedding Vows

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