First Dance Lessons vs DIY: Honest Advice from Real Weddings
When it comes to planning a wedding first dance, one of the biggest questions couples ask is:
Do we need first dance lessons, or can we just do it ourselves?
Some couples love the idea of a choreographed routine. Others just want to relax, move naturally, and enjoy the moment. After filming hundreds of weddings over the years, I’ve seen both approaches work incredibly well — and I’ve also seen couples put unnecessary pressure on themselves.
I’ve also been on the other side of the camera. My wife and I were married recently and chose a DIY first dance with no lessons or choreography. It felt comfortable, genuine, and ended up being one of our favourite moments of the day.
In this article, I’m sharing real wedding first dance videos from couples who took professional lessons and those who went the DIY route, along with their honest feedback. You’ll see how each approach looks in real weddings — not rehearsed studio demos — and what actually matters once the music starts.
I’ll be adding our own first dance video here soon. The goal isn’t to push one option over the other, but to help you decide what feels right for you.
Should You Choreograph Your First Dance?
A choreographed first dance isn’t necessary, but it depends on your comfort level and preferences. Here’s what to consider:
Benefits of choreographing your first dance:
- Creates a memorable, personalized moment that reflects your relationship
- Builds confidence if you’re nervous about dancing in front of guests
- Provides a fun bonding activity during wedding planning
- Results in visually stunning footage for your wedding video
Drawbacks to consider:
- Requires 4-8 weeks of practice and regular lessons
- Costs $200-$800+ for professional choreography
- May feel less spontaneous than a natural slow dance
- It can add stress if you or your partner isn’t comfortable dancing
Middle-ground options: If full choreography feels overwhelming, consider taking 2-3 basic dance lessons to learn simple moves, adding one special moment, such as a dip or spin, or swaying naturally with a few practiced turns.
The best choice is whatever makes you both feel comfortable and excited on your wedding day.
Couples Who Took Professional First Dance Lessons
For couples who enjoy structure and like the idea of turning their first dance into a moment guests will remember, professional lessons can be a great fit.
Alana & Cam – A Fully Choreographed First Dance
Alana and Cam took a traditional approach to wedding planning, so learning choreography for their first dance felt like a natural decision. After choosing Baby I Love Your Way by Big Mountain, they committed to regular lessons with Let’s Dance Studios, where their teacher created a Bolero/Rumba routine tailored specifically to their song.
“We went about wedding planning with a traditional approach, so of course we decided to learn choreography for our first dance… we liked the idea of putting on a ‘show’ for our guests.”
What stood out most wasn’t just the final performance, but the process. Lessons became quality time together during a busy planning period.
“One of the best parts was the quality time learning & laughing together as we spent a couple of hours each week practicing during the lead up to the wedding.”
Even when the music unexpectedly cut out partway through the dance, they were able to stay calm and keep going — a great example of how confidence and familiarity with the routine can help couples adapt in the moment.
“Our guests were so surprised — they loved it! I’m so glad we decided to dance. It was such a fun part of wedding planning, and we got amazing photos and video we’ll cherish forever.”
Key takeaway:
Lessons worked well for Alana and Cam because they wanted a performance-style first dance and enjoyed committing time to learning it together. The confidence they built carried them through even when things didn’t go perfectly.
Laura & Bede – A Traditional Bridal Waltz with Family Meaning
Not every first dance is about flashy moves or a big performance. For Laura and Bede, their first dance was a deeply meaningful moment that connected generations. They performed a traditional bridal waltz at their wedding reception at Brisbane Racing Club, the same song Laura’s parents danced to 35 years ago.
“Seeing Mom in the background shedding a tear made it such a special moment for our family. It wasn’t about showing off — it was about sharing a memory and celebrating our families coming together.”
What made this work wasn’t lessons alone, but the combination of preparation and intention. Even a simple, classic dance can feel polished and special when a couple understands the rhythm and pace, and focuses on enjoying the moment rather than perfection.
Key takeaway:
Lessons don’t have to be about complicated choreography — sometimes they’re simply about giving you confidence, rhythm, and peace of mind so your first dance feels natural and meaningful.
Joyce & Luka – A Modern, Practical Approach to Lessons
Not every couple who takes lessons wants a traditional routine. Joyce and Luka decided on a choreographed first dance because neither had any dance experience, and they didn’t want to “just sway from side to side.”
Their style blended a bridal waltz with Rumba moves, with lifts inspired by Instagram. Lessons gave them structure while keeping the dance fun and personalized.
“We wanted a challenge, but we also didn’t want to feel awkward. Lessons gave us just enough guidance to feel confident and try some lifts safely.”
The key for Joyce and Luka was practical confidence. Even without a performance-style show, lessons helped them move naturally together, plan lifts safely, and enjoy the dance without stress.
Key takeaway:
Lessons aren’t just for performance—they can also give non-dancers the confidence to enjoy the moment and do something a bit more creative.
Couples Who Chose a DIY First Dance
Choosing a DIY first dance can feel daunting — many couples worry about looking awkward, stepping on each other’s feet, or not having enough time to practice. But the reality is, a DIY approach can be just as memorable and meaningful as professional lessons, especially when it reflects your personalities and relationship.
The beauty of a DIY first dance is that it puts the focus on connection, fun, and authenticity. Couples can choose moves they feel comfortable with, play with simple lifts or spins, and adapt the routine to whatever suits their song, space, and style. It’s also flexible — you can practice for a few nights in the week leading up to the wedding, or spread out practice sessions over months.
DIY doesn’t have to mean “unpolished” or “boring.” In fact, it can be an opportunity to inject your personality into your first dance, make guests smile, and create moments that feel genuine rather than rehearsed. The couples featured below show a range of approaches — from creative, last-minute routines to dances carefully practiced in advance — proving that DIY can be just as impressive as lessons when done thoughtfully.
Ashleigh & Hayden – Creative, Fun, and Self-Taught
For Ashleigh and Hayden, a DIY first dance was the perfect fit. They wanted something fun, energetic, and uniquely theirs, so they put together a routine to I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing by Boyce Avenue — entirely self-taught in the week leading up to their wedding.
“We didn’t put too much pressure on ourselves to have a big choreographed dance. We just wanted a few moves throughout the song, which I think helped a lot, so we were able to have fun while practicing.”
They practiced about an hour each night, experimenting with moves they enjoyed and felt comfortable performing. Their routine included playful dips, twirls, and even a crowd-pleasing lift — proving that a DIY dance can be polished, fun, and memorable without formal lessons.
Key takeaway:
DIY first dances can be just as impressive as lessons if couples focus on having fun, choosing moves they enjoy, and practicing enough to feel confident.
DIY First Dance Tips from Real Weddings
Watching real couples take the DIY route gives some great insights. Here are the key takeaways you can apply to your own first dance:
- Keep it simple and fun – Focus on a few moves you enjoy rather than a full routine. Ashleigh & Hayden show how a handful of confident moves can make a big impact.
- Practice in your wedding attire – Sam & Olivia learned that dresses and trains can restrict movement. Practising in something similar helps avoid surprises and builds confidence.
- Short, consistent practice works best – Even 20–30 minutes a few nights a week can make a big difference without turning practice into a stressor.
- Focus on connection, not perfection – The most memorable dances feel authentic. Enjoy the moment, laugh, and don’t worry about every step being flawless.
- Choose music that feels personal – Dancing to a song you love makes moves easier to remember and ensures the dance reflects who you are.
- Stay flexible on the day – Prepare for the unexpected — a music cut, a tricky dress, or nerves. Stay relaxed and enjoy it, just like Sam & Olivia did.
Lessons, DIY, and Finding What Works for You
At the end of the day, there’s no single “right” way to approach your first dance. Some couples thrive with professional lessons, building confidence, structure, and even a show-stopping routine. Others shine with a DIY approach, creating a dance that feels natural, fun, and completely personal.
What matters most is choosing a path that matches your personality, comfort level, and the kind of memory you want to create. Lessons can give guidance and polish, but they aren’t mandatory — and DIY dances can be just as meaningful and memorable when couples focus on connection and confidence.
The real takeaway? Authenticity matters more than perfection. Whether you’re rehearsing lifts for weeks or putting together a simple routine the week before your wedding, the moment works when it feels genuine and fun.
Later, I’ll be adding our own DIY first dance video, which shows how this approach worked for us personally. Until then, let these real wedding examples inspire you — from choreographed lessons to last-minute DIY routines, every couple can create a first dance that’s uniquely their own.
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